Reverend Rowland Jide Macaulay calls for an end to the cultural taboos that lead families to reject young gay people.
I was born to Nigerian Parents and I am an ordained minister and a poet with a good understanding of the culture, traditional values, and expectations placed on African children by their families. Here, tolerance remains at an angle to cultural expectations, and homosexuality is therefore not accepted, especially in Nigeria.
I spent my teenage years in Nigeria, where I first experienced my sexuality, living in fear of being caught, of sin, and of committing of an abomination. I grew up with guilt in my heart, and often prayed for forgiveness, sanctification and purification.
My father, a Christian leader, is a fine, learned man and a very good father. We love each other very much, but the culture and tradition of my tribe, the Yoruba, meant that no matter how successful I became, homosexuality could play no part in the culture.
In Nigeria, homosexuality is a foreign or alien act; it only happens to other people’s children or in activities associated with occultism.
I was married and divorced with a child before I was 26. The marriage broke down after I confessed to being gay. My biggest fear was losing my life and my family.
For many years I kept a low profile, but not without a troubled heart. I lived a pretence, a double life, safeguarding any revelation of my sexual orientation. It was a secret that haunted me for many more years.
I was outed as gay at my local Pentecostal church among heterosexual friends and it became a revelation at work. This was painful and difficult. It was even more painful to deal with my family, as they were embittered towards me. I felt cornered. Having no one else to turn to, I turned to the Lord and only then did I make peace with him and began to understand my pain and anguish was for a reason. I understood I was to be the voice for those who suffered similar predicament.
My purpose now is to reach out to other gays and lesbians suffering persecution, to offer hope and let them know they are not alone. I have no doubt this testimony will have repercussions. However, I stand strong in my faith and belief that ‘as a child of God’ all will be well.
It is not my intention to be a martyr, but simply to stand up and be counted and to highlight that I am ready to persevere, to speak up and pay the price for what I believe. It is increasingly acknowledged that more and more same-sex loving Nigerians, at home and abroad, suffer immense prejudice, due to cultural belief and lack of education about sexuality and intolerance towards people with different sexual orientation.
Prohibition of homosexuality in Nigeria is not only confined to legislation; culturally there is a continuous attempt to deny or refuse to acknowledge that gays and lesbians make up a significant part of the population. Homosexuality, as far as Nigeria is concerned, is an abuse of traditional values.
Parents in Nigeria will seldom accept their son or daughter is gay. It is commonly said: “I would rather have the corpse of my child than accept him or her to be homosexual”. Steps are often taken to seek counselling, prayers, exorcism, casting out of the evil and binding the spirit of homosexuality in an attempt to remove what is seen as a curse. Nigerian churches say homosexuality defies their rich culture and that its practice will cause the individual to be ostracised. Let's not forget the ultimate tenet of the Bible is love. I hope this article will be debated with this in mind. After all, we are all in this together.
