Top Ten tips for banishing
HIV WOES
PN’s five minute guide to lifting spirits
Words Patrick James
Image Russell Plows
1 Be good to yourself
Society puts so many negative connotations on HIV, it’s easy to develop
guilt and self-loathing. Remind yourself HIV is only a virus, not a moral
judgment. Some of us may have been a bit daft in catching it but we are not
to blame. There is no logical reason why we have to give ourselves a hard
time. In the UK we now have the drugs to keep the virus under control compared
with 30+ million who don’t. Learning to love and like yourself again
and enjoy life is an important lesson.
2Get professional help
When we see someone with a broken leg, we all know they need help and support,
so why does society offer so little to people with depression? HIV clinics
are now beginning to address mental health problems and offer referrals to
psychologists and psychiatrists. It takes a brave soul to admit there’s
a problem and ask for help, but it’s not as scary as you would imagine.
Self-medicating with recreational drugs and drink is no substitute and can
make you feel worse.
3 Seek support
Psychological and emotional support from others with HIV, who have lived through
similar experiences, makes you realise you’re not alone. Your positive
brothers and sisters can give practical tips to safely navigate through living
with this illness that doctors, family or negative friends would never understand.
Most local HIV charities have safe, non-judgmental peer support groups for
people with HIV. They are an invaluable starting point on the road to recovery
and feeling better about yourself.
4 Get out more
Isolation is a common cause of depression and mental distress in people living
with HIV. Staying at home mulling over your problems can make them seem even
more insurmountable. Humans are social animals and we need each other for
health as well as happiness. Even walking around the local park can lift a
negative mood. Better still, start an exercise programme, sport or hobby which
makes the brain release natural endorphins, so-called ‘feel good’
chemicals. As well as making you feel instantly better, you’ll become
fitter and more confident about your body, too.
5 Treat yourself
Having something to look forward to, be it a night out, a trip away or a holiday,
will lift your depressed mood. And giving yourself a treat you know you deserve
will make you happier and more optimistic. So why not have that trip to the
sales or even that week in the Spanish sun this winter?
6 Talk to friends
Most of us find out who our real friends are when we tell them we are HIV
positive. Some surprise us with their empathy and understanding while others
run a mile. Don’t blame yourself; ignorance about HIV is rife in our
so-called ‘enlightened’ society. If you’re isolated and
depressed, getting out of the house and visiting friends can lift your mood
and make you see your problems in context. The band of brothers or sisters
living with HIV can become your most supportive friends and allies. Community
activism has made a major difference for people with HIV and is now being
copied in other disease areas.
7 Look after both your body and mind
Learning to cook with fresh ingredients, rather than throwing a frozen meal
in the microwave, will improve your nutritional health and provide a sense
of self-worth. Developing pride in how you look and giving time to your appearance
will not only cheer you up but also make you more attractive
to others. Feeding the mind and soul is also important. Don’t just rely
on easy media, like TV, but listen to soothing or uplifting music to raise
your spirits. And don’t be afraid of reading books, for pleasure and
relaxation as well as expanding the mind.
8 Get creative
Writing out your feelings or expressing them through painting or the arts
is a wonderful way to release pain, give feedback to the mind and move on
from the quagmire of depression. Many of history’s greatest writers
and artists were manic depressives and used their artistic skills not just
to tell a story but to express their fears and hopes as well as their dark
secrets. Try it. You’ll be surprised how good you actually are and how
interesting your story can be.
9 Get a pet
Research has shown that people with pets have lower blood pressure and are
more relaxed and focused. Pets actually work as therapy and giving unrestricted
love to a dog, cat, or even to a goldfish will give you a friend, a focus
and a sense of proportion. Make sure you’re not allergic to them, though.
10 Get a life!
Many people with a major illness like HIV can become so obsessed with coping
with their disease they seem to put the rest of their lives on hold and stop
functioning. Every waking hour is spent thinking about their plight when the
best solution is to move on. It can sometimes seem impossible to get on but
medical advances in HIV medicine mean most of us will not die of something
associated with the virus but with some disease related to old age. Building
a future, saving for retirement and trying to enjoy life and be happy must
be major priorities for us all. It’s an old cliché, but we only
have one life and it’s up to us to make the most of it. People with
HIV are often risk-takers, otherwise we wouldn’t have ended up with
this condition. So don’t be afraid to move on. Remember: the greatest
risk in life is to take no risk at all.
