When singer Andy Bell of
Erasure came out as HIV positive last year, he was surprised by the huge support
he received from fans and the media
Words Martin Flynn
Few
pop stars have the courage to speak openly about living with HIV. But last
year, when Erasure singer Andy Bell told a journalist he’d been living
with HIV since 1998, there was surprisingly little moralising from the tabloids
and almost universal support from fans.
Too shy, shy
Raised on a Peterborough council estate, the eldest of six children, Andy
always wanted to sing and perform. Moving to London at 19, he quickly immersed
himself in the 80s clubbing scene famous for spawning the likes of performance
artist Leigh Bowery. “Taboo [Bowery’s favourite club] was over
but I remember seeing Boy George around clubs like Heaven. I followed him
around like a sheep with my mouth open.” Although a fan of George, Andy’s
real hero was Vince Clarke, who, with Alison Moyet, formed Yazoo. “I
was such a fan of Vince that I wrote to him to see if he needed a singer.
So the story about me answering a magazine ad to get into Erasure in 1985
is true. Vince is straight and very generous and funny. For the first six
months in the studio I was so in awe of him I couldn’t speak.”
High voices and high times
You may remember Erasure’s biggest hit, A Little Respect, along with
Andy’s falsetto voice. “I was a big fan of Jimmy Somerville but
I didn’t try singing falsetto until my first audition with Vince.”
Everything fell into place and Erasure hit the big time. “From 1989
until 1992 I was touring all around the world. It was full-on, just going
everywhere and not having time to think about anything. All the albums sold
well but by the mid-90s the music scene had moved on. The Spice Girls were
huge and they stopped playing our songs on the radio.”
Cry for help
It was during this period of change, in 1990, that Andy’s long-term
partner and manager Paul was diagnosed HIV positive. “He was told by
some Harley Street doctor he was going to die and came home in floods of tears.
“We’ve been together 20 years. I didn’t find out I was HIV
positive until 1998 when I came down with pneumonia in Majorca. I’d
been doing loads of coke; pushed myself to the limit. My body collapsed. “I’d
had loads of problems with piles, shingles, rashes and oral thrush. I was
pretty out of it. All I remember was it really hurting and the nurses were
really severe trying to get the needles in. But I didn’t think I was
going to die. I think I almost did it [contracted HIV] as a cry for help to
Paul. Not killing myself, but nearly.”
“When I got back to London, the hospital in Majorca liaised with Barts.
Paul was already seeing a doctor there. I went on combination therapy straight
away.”
Pills, pain and a pair of new hips
“For the last three years I’ve been on 3TC, abacavir (now Kivexa)
and nevirapine. My numbers are OK and I’m undetectable.“Paul never
took AZT and neither did I. We’ve seen too many friends on it in the
early 1990s who died; they died quicker than those not on it.”
Thankfully, Andy has not suffered many side effects from combination therapy.
“I remember having numb fingers and a tingling sensation [peripheral
neuropathy] and a little lipoatrophy in my face when I was on d4T. “I
suffered with vascular necrosis which is when the blood supply to the top
of the thighbone stops and it just crumbles, so I had to have a double hip
replacement. Before, I hobbled around, stooped over like an old man. I had
to take loads of painkillers and was out of action for months. Then I started
going to the gym to rebuild my strength. I did over 60 shows last year.”
Coming
out
It was during these shows that Andy made the decision to speak out about being
HIV positive. “It came out like a surprise. When I was on tour with
the vascular necrosis, we had to postpone three or four shows because I was
ill with bronchitis. I wanted to make a contract like an opera singer that
if you get flu you don’t have to do the show that night.“The insurers
paid up when I had to cancel but when I disclosed my HIV status I had to pay
them back. I can still get tour insurance but it costs a lot more now.”
Despite his honesty, Andy did have worries. “Coming out didn’t
make a huge difference. I was quite fearful, however, because of a previous
incident years ago. Some guy stole my coat in Heaven and was caught using
my credit cards. The CID came round and asked me: ‘Do you want to press
charges? This guy’s got Aids’. It was like he was more of a criminal
because he had Aids. He then said I was his boyfriend and phoned the papers
saying I’d infected him. I’d just had my appendix out and had
tested negative for HIV at the time. The whole story was bullshit.
“When I came out I thought there’d be others like that making
daft claims and loads of people outside my house. “Ten years ago there
was horrible stigma against people with HIV. It’s still there but not
as bad. I’m in such a bubble, protected by Paul and the music business.
Even the press were OK. They printed what I said about HIV not being a death
sentence and how I’m getting on with my music.”
Andy is one of a very few famous people who have been open about their HIV
status.
“There’s been a few, like Chris Smith and Holly Johnson, but I
know many more who keep it secret. I don’t think it was particularly
courageous of me. It was a huge release. It was like a huge cloud over me
had gone away.”
High heels and sexy outfits
Andy doesn’t follow a strict health regime. “On tour it’s
hard to get up and give 100 per cent every night. I have to pace myself because
I’m not 22 anymore. My voice is still alright. I shouldn’t smoke
but I see a great doctor in New York who drains my sinuses and gives me a
regime to stick to on tour: no caffeine, alcohol or drugs. It means getting
lots of rest and drinking loads of water. “I’m really bad. I can
only go to the gym if there’s a goal like the end of a tour. My metabolism
is really fast so I tone up quite fast and don’t put on much weight.
I still have to get into the high heels and the tight sexy outfits (laughs).“Paul
does loads of juices but when we’re in Spain, I bake. We’ve got
loads of Spanish friends in the village and they don’t care who we are
and who’s famous or not.”
The benefits of disclosure
“One of the great things about being open about your HIV status is that
you don’t have to explain yourself all the time. In the past I’ve
hidden my HIV drugs but not anymore. US customs usually search me but I’ve
yet to have a problem or be refused entry. Sometimes I post the drugs on in
advance but once they were stopped at customs and I had to pay $300 for a
10-day supply.”Despite the good responses, not everyone has welcomed
Andy’s news. “Gay men are often our harshest critics. People would
say: ‘You don’t want to give me your lurgy’ and things like
that. I just take it all with a pinch of salt. On tour in Rio I had thousands
of people shouting ‘puta’ [whore] at me but I took it as a complement.
But there is a lot of smarminess from some snotty gay men who think they’re
HIV negative, like they’re somehow superior.”
Scare
tactics are needed
The current prevalence of HIV within the gay community is something Andy is
obviously concerned about. “I don’t think HIV prevention campaigns
for gay men are working. Young guys
coming to London aren’t getting any help, neither are the poz guys.
I think we need some scary HIV campaigns like 15 years ago.“There’s
all this barebacking going on, poz-on-poz sex and people trying to get infected.
They’re mad. I’m surprised by the number of so-called straight
and married men who also have gay sex. They seem to be the ones least concerned
about HIV.”
Music and marriage
Despite recently releasing solo album Electric Blue, Erasure are still together.
“I did an album on my own because Vince is a busy new dad. I wanted
to write with some other people and do some dance music too. But I don’t
really enjoy touring much without Vince there. “Erasure have an acoustic
album coming out in April called Union Street. It’s not dance music
but ballads: country and western songs with violins. We’re also doing
an album of B-sides and have got an album of nursery rhymes coming out. I’m
really looking forward to the ‘Frank Sinatra’ syndrome and feel
my voice is suited to those 1940s style jazzy ballads. Like Robbie Williams
did, but much better. “I want to live until I’m 80. Paul and I
are very close as a couple. It sounds naff but it’s a spiritual thing
and we try and look out for each other. We are going to have a civil partnership
because I want to protect him from Inheritance Tax. But we’ll do it
quietly and privately and not make a big deal of it, like some infamous gay
couples I could mention.”
Positive? Think positive
Andy has done much to support people with HIV, but feels some use the virus
as a crutch.
“We’ve just done an Aids benefit in Madrid for Shangay magazine.
We’re re-releasing the 1990 Red, Hot & Blue album with me singing
Cole Porter’s Too Darn Hot, and we auctioned off a holiday in Majorca
for the Palm Springs Desert Aids Project. “For a lot of people, HIV
is as much a psychological thing as a medical condition. Some people use HIV
as a crutch and an excuse; they put their life on hold and go through a long
cycle of depression. HIV becomes their whole focus and they don’t seem
to get on with anything.
“Don’t let HIV take over your life. Don’t use it as an excuse
to yourself or to others. I’m fortunate. I haven’t had bad HIV
drug side effects. I’ve got friends with HIV who can’t sleep and
think they’re going crazy. And some people I know have changed and got
bitter, negative and nasty to everyone.
“I think some people just complain too much and don’t realise
how lucky we are to live in a country with a free health service. “I’d
say to people: go for it and live. You don’t know how long you’re
going to be around anyway. If anything, having HIV has pushed me on rather
than held me back. It’s driven me to get on with my life, my writing
and my singing.”
• www.andybell.com
• www.erasureinfo.com
