compiled by Martin Flynn
LOVE IS
IN THE AIR...
“Only
love endures and nothing endures like the quality of that emotion”
The late arrival of spring after a long grey winter turns
our fancy to the subject of love and a number of fascinating pieces of research
on the subject.
For example, it takes only three minutes to fall in love; the peak of sexual
chemistry lasts just two years and older men are happier with their sex lives
than men in their thirties.
A study by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania looked at the behaviour
of 10,000 newly introduced couples at speed dating sessions and discovered
that people make their minds up very quickly about who and what they want.
“Some people say they’re looking for one kind of person, and then
choose another,” said Pennsylvania’s Dr Robert Kurzban.
“Others say they don’t even know what they’re looking for.
But our data suggests that, however it happens, people know it quickly when
they see it.”
Lust and cuddle hormones
Scientists from the University of Pisa have identified the chemicals which
rule both lust and cuddles. They found the bodily chemistry which makes people
sexually attractive to new partners lasts, at most, just two years.
And when couples move on to a ‘stable relationship’ phase, different
hormones take over.
Researchers tested for hormones called neutrophins in the blood of volunteers
in relationships and found much higher levels in those in the early stages
of romance.
However, levels of testosterone, the male sex hormone, lowered once men had
‘captured’ a new lover.
But in people who have been with partners for one or two years, these so-called
‘lust molecules’ had vanished, only to be replaced by the so-called
‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin.
“If lovers swear their feelings to be
ever-lasting, the hormones tell a different story,” said Pisa’s
Dr Donatella Marazziti.
The Viagra generation
Similar research comes from a team at the University of Pavia that found levels
of a chemical messenger nerve growth factor (NGF) increased with romantic
intensity.
But after one to two years, NGF levels returned to normal.
While many post-war baby boomers have now moved on to become the Viagra generation,
a further study from Norway and the US backs up the notion that sex lives
actually get better as we get older.
Researchers surveyed 1,200 men between the ages of 20 and 80 and understandably
found more problems with impotence and declining sex drive in older men.
Yet men in their fifties reported similar levels of satisfaction with their
sex lives as those in their twenties.
Professor Sophia Fossa told the urology journal BJU: “The results showed
a very strong correlation between men getting older and reduced sexual functioning,
but not between age and sexual satisfaction.”
Whether this is due to reduced sexual expectations as we get older remains
to be seen. But psychologist Ronald Bracey told BBC News he was not surprised
by the results.
“Men in their thirties and forties are often too stressed by things
such as being successful in their careers to enjoy sex.
“But by the time men get to their fifties they are usually adjusted
to what they want out of life, and tend to be less hung up, less concerned
by what other people think, and less prone to performance anxiety.”
‘I’d rather have a cup of tea’
A separate study, from the online dating service parship.co.uk, found six
out of ten single men would prefer a sausage roll to a roll in the hay.
In a poll of over 1,100 people, six out of ten said cooking, good food and
healthy eating were very important, while only four out of ten said the same
for sex.
Men in this country are changing, according to Parship’s Tony Blin-Stoyle:
“Where male conversation used to focus on football, cars and sexual
conquests, they can now debate the merits of organic vegetables and which
herbs are best slow-cooked with lamb.”
Sex and love for HIV positive people
It’s worth noting that most decent HIV clinics now identify sexual dysfunction
as a manageable problem in both men and women living long-term with HIV on
antiretroviral drugs.
Some HIV clinics offer referrals to counselling or psychological support,
or for testosterone replacement therapy (also used to boost weight gain).
Prescriptions from your GP for Viagra are now available on the NHS, so living
with HIV doesn’t have to mean an end to a satisfying sex life.
Positive Nation’s online dating service has hundreds of adverts. John
Clarkson, PN’s very own cupid, says: “Our online dating service
is free, easily accessible and has a high success rate.”
If you’re single, why not give it a go?
• Online dating at www.positivenation.co.uk
