Threatened with knives and left alone to
care for eight children after her husband’s Aids-related death, Anne
Awori-Osinde still found strength to help other families in her rural
Ugandan village
In
the beginning, Aids was considered a personal matter in Uganda. But the late
Philly Lutaaya [a leading Uganda musician who died of HIV] warned us: “Today
is me - tomorrow is someone else.” At the time we thought the man was
joking. But right now everybody in this country is affected.
The first I heard about Aids was in 1982, when a friend told me there was
a disease called ‘Slim Fit’. She said it afflicted soldiers who
fought in Tanzania in 1980 and some traders who looted the country. They were
bewitched and had died along with their spouses and close relatives especially
children.
Aids in my family
In 1984 my brother started to get ill: malaria, diarrhoea, vomiting, headache,
rashes, swollen glands and more. No one in the family suspected Aids. At first
everything was easy to treat; he recovered for a while then the illnesses
would come back. By 1987 his situation worsened; he developed sores that did
not heal; lost his appetite and developed many other complications. By 1988
he was very weak indeed and couldn’t keep anything down.
We became close and discussed an HIV test, which he willingly agreed to. After
it came back positive, he refused to take his medicine or eat. We tried in
vain to persuade him but he died a few weeks later on 12 December 1988.
At that time, most people did not want to touch Aids patients, so my brother
died in my arms. During my brother’s illness, his two wives were taken
back by their parents leaving four young children behind. The oldest was just
five. After the burial no close relatives volunteered to take care of the
orphans so I took them in.
I decided to take them in despite the fact my husband was in Germany studying
for a master’s degree. Although I was working, it was hard to care for
four orphans in addition to my three children; I could barely feed and dress
them - let alone pay for their education.
Aids
in my home
Because I had nursed the first person to die from Aids-related illness in
our family, when my sister’s husband realised his status and was very
sick, he came to my home. I looked after him till he returned home to die.
He left my sister with six orphans.
My husband returned from Germany in 1990 and was employed by the Ministry
of Tourism and Wild Life. In 1992 we got the fourth child that he wanted.
Then in 1993 he fell ill with an endless, bloody cough, chest pain, malaria,
fever and kisipi [shingles].
After being forced to test by the company doctor, he was diagnosed HIV positive.
He was advised to resign because he was unfit to work and because his infectious
diseases “put the whole Ministry at risk”. He refused so they
sacked him. He returned home but failed to find work and turned to alcohol.
A lonely death
When my husband became weak, his family collected him and took him to their
village. When I followed him there, I found him without any care. His relatives
refused to let me to take him to hospital, and blamed me for infecting him
with HIV. They threatened to beat me to death. His relatives just wanted to
take him home to make him die quickly - they did not want me there.
I could not leave my husband alone to die, so I left all but my youngest,
who was ill with malaria, in Jinja and went to look after him.
Nobody visited us in that lonely house that stood no more than 150 metres
from other houses. We stayed there with no money, no food. It was like we
were in prison. Those terrible conditions hastened my husband’s death.
At
God’s mercy
The night he died, he asked me to pray for him and he told me not to fear.
His breathing changed and at 3am he passed away.
I got scared and shouted bitterly. His brothers came running; one had panga
knife and told me he was going to cut me because I killed his brother.
As I went on mourning, the three men became angry and ordered me to keep silent
and clean and dress the dead body. I was at God’s mercy. I performed
all these duties with my sick child on my back. One man still wanted to cut
me but some neighbours arrived to help me dress my husband’s body.
That morning ‘panga knife man’ told the rest that he wanted to
fetch our children to attend their father’s burial. He left Tororo early
in the morning. When he reached Jinja, he deceived my daughter saying he had
been asked collect some things in the bedroom. He packed almost every thing
he wanted, including documents.
After the burial I was told that my husband had no belongings so I should
not expect anything from the clan. The local authorities could not help so
I went back to Jinja and my children and we have been here since 1997. And
no family member has ever come to visit us since.
Fear and friends
After my husband died, I was filled with fear. Friends started avoiding my
company and neighbours would discuss my HIV status in the presence of their
children who would tell me the whole story. One child asked: “When are
you going to die? Do you want to finish all people with your Aids before you
die?”
Most believed that I was the one who infected my husband since it was believed
you could catch HIV just taking care of an Aids patient. I also believed I
was the one although I had not had an HIV test. I did not want to bother myself,
after all it was clear to me that I was infected because I had many symptoms;
I was sickly, had swollen glands everywhere and was very thin and bony. This
made me and everybody else believe that I had Aids.
Testing times
In October 1999, a friend passed by my home and told me she was going to check
her CD4 count. Encouraged by her boldness and courage, I asked her how much
it would cost to find out my status. It was affordable so we went together
to the Aids Information Center, at Jinja. They took a blood sample.
After some hours I was called to a room. This was the exchange beetween the
doctor and I:
Why did you decide to come for test?
My husband died of Aids so I wanted to
check my status and know my CD4 count.
Have you married again?
No.
Do you want to get married?
Not at all, I want to live with my children.
Are you serious?
I am very serious.
If you are positive what will you you do?
Nothing but wait for death.
Then the doctor told me my blood was ‘none reactive’. He explained
this meant I was not HIV positive. I was shocked and didn’t believe
him. So I asked him to repeat the test. But he told me he had done all the
necessary proofs and they were all negative.
He advised me to be very careful if I wanted to look after my children. Instead
of being very happy I was broken. I did not finally believe I was HIV negative
until I was tested elsewhere.
Now I know my ill health was largely to do with recurrent malaria. Although
I was HIV negative, the whole village and my relatives refused to believe
it. Even my children did not believe.
Birth
of an organisation
After seeing my brother’s children rejected by his family after his
death and seeing my sister beaten up and pushed onto her husband’s corpse
because she refused to hand over the keys to her house, and how her children
were abandoned, I was terrified we were unprotected.
A friend’s daughter had died, leaving her to look after three kids.
We agreed that every weekend we would visit people who had lost their relatives.
The following weekend we went to some homes in the village and discovered
that there were families with worse problems than ours. Some people were very
old and weak yet they had to care for children from three or more families.
Some had up to 10 dependants
Some orphans were starting to steal food from people’s gardens and had
no bedding. We returned with clothes and food but it was not enough for all
the needy.
We called together all the women who had similar problems and created an organisation
for advocacy and self-help. Thus Grassroots Women’s Development Organisation
(GWODEO) was born.
Turning point
After 12 years, when most members had died or given up, and after working
tirelessly contacting many donors in vain, the International Community of
Women Living with HIV and Aids sent a new donor list that included the UKC.
I contacted them immediately and spoke to their deputy CE0 Aidan Keightley
and they became our champions. And by the grace of God, on 25 November 2005,
I found myself in the beautiful Old Billingsgate Market building, receiving
a Hero Award.
I want to thank my late husband who encouraged us to start this organisation
and my orphans Jacqueline, Richard, Andrew, late Henry, Aidah, Joseph, Juliana
and Julius for their endless advice and not to give up the fight for GWODEO.
And I appreciate the efforts of Mr Aidan Keightley to lift up my hands. God
bless all.
A brighter future
GWODEO enables vulnerable children, women, youths and the elderly to live
happy, harmonious and productive lifes through education, promoting sustainable
agricultural practices and increasing access to safe drinking water and basic
sanitation.
Without government funding, they tackle the vicious circle of poverty and
ill health by addressing illiteracy, gender inequality and lack of skills
and offering financial support.
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