FAMILY SECRETS
illnesses."
One HIV positive mother told Lewis: "We never
mentioned the name HIV...I feel there's too much stigma around it...the
word is scary." All too often, however, young people are still very
much aware that there's a serious illness in the family, even if HIV hasn't
been mentioned. The same mother added: "Without the label, without
the word, you can still give them explanations." Young people who
haven't been formally told about HIV also demonstrated that they often
understood more than parents or adults realised.
Even if HIV is mentioned, says the report, there can be such a reluctance
in the family to talk about it clearly that a young
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person can be left not fully understanding what's going on.
Illness sometimes limited the ability of those with HIV to behave like
'normal' kids. For example, one HIV positive 10-year-old commented when
asked about going on school trips that he didn't go because: "I have
to go to the stupid hospital. And my dad says, oh, 'I'm too weak.' They
barely let me do anything."
Lewis also interviewed a parent who had relented and let his HIV positive
son go on a week-long school trip, only to find out on his return that
he'd failed to take any of his medication through fear of his friends
seeing him and his HIV status being guessed.
There were very good reasons for young people or their guardians to worry
