TO TELL OR NOT..... TO TELL
emotionally distanced enough from your parents, then you will feel comfortable keeping your diagnosis to yourself. But for myself, and probably
thousands of others, 'to tell or not to tell' is a very hard decision
to make. Sometimes I catch myself getting unreasonably angry at my mother
for not understanding things that I have never told her. I can picture
her in my head, wringing her hands Anne Bancroft-style, screaming, "Ya
cheated me outta ya life, (dramatic pause), and then blamed me for not
being there!"
What we need are some positive role models (pardon the pun), to make life
easier for us to do this second 'coming out' deed. As much as we are glad
he is there, we can't depend on Mark from Eastenders alone. We need to
see an image of happy, healthy and successful people in the media, who
just happen to be positive. To let all the parents, teachers, employers
and friends out there know that HIV is still a big noise on the gay circuit,
but that happily it is manageable for lots of us.
Sometimes I think I'll never tell my parents. Then other times I think
I am going through a process, just like 'coming out', and with families
who are close, it's inevitable that the secret will escape before too
long. Choosing not to tell is fine - as long as it is not at the expense
of cutting people you love out of your life. Mind you, a mother's intuition
is an amazing thing, and if breaking my latest news is anything like my
escape from the closet, chances are my mother already knows. She might
even be reading this right now.
page 3 of 6
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