TO TELL OR NOT..... TO TELL
prevent myself from breaking. I wanted him to see that I was strong.
It was as if I had told him he had tested HIV
positive. He seemed irrational, and though I didn't doubt his deep feelings
for me, I knew it was already over.
His reaction was not one I had considered, as I have been fortunate to
receive very positive reactions from partners in the past. I had never
faced this before.
Having recently come out as positive to my parents who had received the
news in a more sedate manner than I had assumed, I just hadn't contemplated
such a negative response.
Also my new partner was younger than I was. I told myself, he would have
received better sex education than I had and would be prepared for this
possibility. He did not deny his education, but he had never thought it
would touch his life.
That struck a chord with me as I remember once having thought the same,
eight years ago. A young gay man in London today, starting a new relationship
with a guy he barely knows. Surely my sexual history should be forefront
in his mind? But he had not considered it.
It worried me greatly, as it was living in the realm of dreams and blindly
believing that true love comes with no small-print or exemption clauses,
that left me in the position that I am in today.
His fear was compounded by his feelings for me. He didn't want to hurt
me but he
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could not handle the situation that he found himself in.
