regulars - issue 78

speak up

Positive Nation

SPARKY

most extraordinary, highly strung people I had ever met, screaming and swearing one moment, then laughing and joking the next. The circus was their life, they were complete workaholics, and they expected no less from the rest of us.
Working in the ring was wonderful. The clowns entered in a miniature fire engine, spraying hoses, swinging ladders and tipping buckets of water over each other. But doing two shows a day was just time off from the real work. Every morning, the head tentman would bang on the side of the lorry and yell in a fake German accent "Prisoners will get up!" This delightful fellow had us at his mercy - painting, cleaning, mucking out the ponies, he always had a filthy chore up his sleeve. Then there was the small matter of moving the show every week. How I would dread Sundays - two shows, then straight into the pull-down, driving through the night, an hour's sleep if we were lucky, then building up the Big Top to open again on Monday.
It wasn't all bad. I grew to love the circus family and banging in tent stakes worked wonders for my physique. But press interviewers always seemed to ask me about the tears of a clown. Was it true that behind the make-up, clowns are lonely and sad? If only they knew...
The continual grind began to take its toll. Building up the tent soon loses its appeal when you are in the pouring rain, knee-deep in mud. I seemed to be permanently cold, wet and dirty, and there was a persistent pain in my chest that everyone laughed off as a strained muscle. I had run out of my combination therapy and there was never a day off to get back to London for more.

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On one occasion, I did manage to nip into a nearby hospital, but they refused

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