CLEO AND TONY
Cleo and Tony (not their real
names), both in their early 40s, met almost seven years ago and have
been married for five. They live in a village in the southeast, where,
fearful of bad local reaction, they have kept Cleo's HIV status a secret.
Cleo was diagnosed HIV positive in April 1992 after a former
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partner had become sick. She had almost given up hope of having a serious
relationship when she met Tony on a work-related course. Two weeks later,
on their first date, Cleo told Tony that she was HIV positive.
"It was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do,"
admits Cleo. "I've had negative reactions in the past from previous
potential partners, so I was prepared for him to walk away. But I had
to tell him. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would want to know,
in order to make the informed choice about whether to go ahead with the
relationship."
It was Tony's first encounter with HIV. "It was clearly a shock,"
he understates. "It really knocked me for six. But I didn't run away.
"I did wonder, 'How long is it going to last? How long is she going
to be around?' And I knew there was going to be a commitment here; when
she gets unwell, I'm going to be looking after her. But I thought, 'I've
got to go for this because it will be an important part of my life', and
fortunately, it's lasted a lot longer."
"I remember you saying, 'It's not going to be a problem, it's fine',"
recalls Cleo. "But I said, 'Think about this, it's not that simple,
it is difficult, it is complicated, it's not an
ordinary relationship. I'm not going to be fine all the time. I wanted us to enter
