this arrangement in the hope of having their practical problems resolved.
When I sit down and ask the woman why she finds herself in such problems, the answer is usually: "Aah! He's not even my type!" So my dear, which is your type? I normally don't get a straight answer, except how generous and kind-hearted he is.
Women may also want a man so that they are seen to be 'serviceable and marketable'. In the end, they are badly hurt. They put time and care into the relationship, and the man disappears into thin air.
Result: one deserted partner, often completely failing to come to terms with the situation. Loss of confidence, missing of doctors' appointments, giving up anti-retroviral therapy, treatment failure.
All these might even be avoided if the right help is sought. For example, you can easily call THT Direct or the UKC for immigration, and you might even qualify for a car under the Motability scheme instead of relying on others.
I don't find it any different among gay friends. Gay relationships might look to outsiders like a mixture of fun, posh holidays and beautiful presents (not just a bar of bath soap as my colleague gave to his former beloved) - but the expectations are often just as high from the partner with less income.
And I know many a bisexual too. He usually finds himself a mess for the simple reason that he does not know what he truly wants. It's often compounded by loss of direction and poverty.
In all three groups, you find that lack of clarity from the beginning is the cause of the

page 2 of 3

1 / 2 / 3

home

contents of issue 80/81
back issues
the gazette
recipes
small ads
contacting us
weblinks

problems. We must be able to put our cards on the table and state exactly