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Barry is 35, single and has just started combination therapy. His health had been stable since his diagnosis eight years ago, but his ex-lover's death last year exhausted him. He succumbed to PCP soon afterwards. It was Barry's first time in hospital, and the experience was a stark reminder of his body's limitations.
His confidence in his health and his trust in his body's capacity to heal itself evaporated. Suddenly he felt

illustration by rose hardy

trapped in a body out of his control, waiting for something else to go wrong. His whole outlook changed from being positive to becoming scared. He left hospital feeling like an old man, frightened of his body and fearful of the future.
Fear the destroyer
Fear is one of the most potent immunosuppressants known to man. It paralyses us immunologically, physically, mentally and emotionally, draining us of energy, faith, trust, and peace. It destroys our ability to fight, our capacity to love, and our will to live.
Some would even argue that it is the fear of HIV rather than the virus itself that destroys our health and immunity. It certainly does assist HIV. A recent study by the University of California, Los Angeles, demonstrated a 10-fold increase in viral replication in response to stress. Our thymus gland, which generates T-cells, is incredibly sensitive to fear. It shrinks and produces fewer cells in response.