features - issue 84
SMART girlLOST in AMERICA
positive nation

From London suburbia to rural Louisiana, Susan Cole describes how she got wed to a dashing

American only to end up with an extortionate HIV treatment bill in the midst of deep south USA. Photos by Nikki Kastner

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HIV doesn't affect girls like me: I have a dazzling array of designer handbags, went to a private school and was of the Cosmopolitan Magazine generation of "Smart girls carry condoms". Unprotected sex was not an option, not until of course the safety and smugness of a fairytale wedding to a dashing American. Which gets me neatly on to how I got It.
Picture the scene: 1998, I moved from the mediocrity of suburban Croydon to rural Louisiana, USA to marry a man I believed to be rich and sensitive with an overwhelming passion for me. In reality he turned out to be an alcoholic, with massive debt, flatulence and an overwhelming passion for guns and college boys. Taught me a lesson about smugness. Part of the immigration process was to have a routine HIV test - it didn't cross my mind for a moment that I could conceivably be positive. The tests were done in New Orleans by one of the designated immigration doctors, who was, I believe, a dermatologist - just the person you would want to tell you about your positive HIV result.

Photos by Nikki Kastner

I went to pick up my results two weeks later and was ushered into a room by a nurse with eyes wide with panic. "Well the good news is that you don't have syphilis, but the bad news is you're HIV positive," she said, thrusting the bill for the tests into my hand. When I was able to pull myself out of

the euphoria of not having syphilis, my primary emotion was one of disbelief. It had to be a mistake. The nurse was joined by the doctor who eyed me nervously, with evident dis-

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