were starting medication later, and also living relatively
normal-length lives.
I started to find out everything I could about HIV, voraciously
reading whatever I could get hold of on the subject and
spending hours on the internet. In many ways I found gaining information
quite empowering for me, like a lot of people do actually, at a time when
everything else in my life seemed to be hurtling out of control.
I felt incredibly isolated having to cope with my diagnosis while living
thousands of miles away from my family and friends. I had told my closest
friends and family back in England and they were all wonderfully supportive.
There were, however, not in the same country and I didn't feel that I
could chance telling the new friends I had made in the USA.
My husband was of no support and it became clear that the only thing we
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had in common was our HIV status (in addition to mutual
contempt). This was enough to keep us together for almost two years -
particularly after he said that no other man would want to be with me
because I was positive. I have subsequently found this not to be the case,
but it was very easy to believe at the time.
In addition to the psychological impact of being diagnosed positive in
the USA, there were also a number of practical issues.
In addition to the psychological impact of being diagnosed positive in
the USA, there were also a number of practical issues. Immigration was
a major one. Being HIV positive gave me the curious status of being 'an
inadmissible alien', on a par with being a Nazi war criminal. It was possible
for me to have received a waiver through being married to an American,
but this proved to be extraordinarily time-consuming and thousands of
dollars were spent on legal fees before abandoning the claim and coming
back home.
Healthcare was also problematic.
I did manage to secure health insurance through the Louisiana High Risk Group, but this again was very expensive and would have been revoked permanently if cover lapsed through
