I recently
did something people have been doing since time immemorial - got
married. Having to think about it seriously made me realise how
often people marry without giving it a thought about consequences
and repercussions.
Sometimes this is due to envy or loneliness, but more often to pressure
from family or friends. In our African tradition, when a man reaches
a certain age, it is just ‘right’ that he finds a lifelong
partner.
It’s the same with women, though with the African ladies the
‘certain age’ is usually much earlier than the guys.
If this is not achieved, some families and friends begin to wonder
whether there is something wrong with her.
As for men, families and friends begin to whisper that the man is
a fool - that’s why women can’t stand him.
The tenets of marriage should be that you love one another, that
you care for each other, that you be faithful to each other.
Unfortunately this is so often not the case in our situation. People
tend to deceive their spouse from day one up to the day a divorce
is granted.
For example, when a man meets a woman for the first time, the woman
is not always upfront regarding her - well - ‘baggage’
- children she might have from previous marriages or arrangements.
Also she might be economical with the truth regarding the right
age of her children especially boys. She says, for example, “he
is just a young boy,” but when you actually meet him, he’s
like our champion Lennox Lewis. This sends shivers down the spine
because you know there is truly another man in her life!
The reason women do this is because they fear that if the man knows
too much, he might lose interest and take off.
As for us men, we fear that once a woman knows all about ‘us’,
she will not take us seriously. We |
