You know
what this is called, don’t you? This is stress.
Let off steam
All the symptoms of stress are created by a build-up of emotions
- like steam in a pressure cooker. So when we are feeling stressed
we need to let off steam, to feel calm and in control again. Avoiding
how we are feeling, anaesthetising how we are feeling, swallowing
down our feelings, or suppressing our feelings with drugs and cigarettes
does not make them disappear.
An HIV diagnosis can unleash an avalanche of emotions: fear, rage,
guilt or despair could appear singly or together. Sitting on this
build-up of steam exhausts us and undermines our sleep, draining
our energy further. These need to be released rather than buried
if we are to feel energised and in control again.
So how can we let off steam safely and effectively so we can feel
calm and in control again - and get a decent night’s sleep.
Being heard
Our feelings need to be heard by someone we feel safe with. So screaming
at the boss may not be a good idea - but screaming about the boss
- that’s far more effective stress management.
Ideally we need to be heard by someone we can trust, who has the
time to listen to us, and support us, rather than control us. Someone
who we can cry with, without stopping us. Someone who can listen
to our rage and anger, rather than try and calm us down. Sometimes
a friend, a partner, a parent may find this witnessing role difficult,
and here we need to accept their limitations and seek out someone
who can just listen to how we’re feeling inside.
This may be a counsellor, a therapist, or a psychologist. What is
important is finding someone we feel safe enough with to start releasing
this backlog of emotions. Writing about our feelings in a journal
or diary is a way we can also listen to ourselves, reflecting and
witnessing to our conscious |
