Mehrunissa
Thomas came from being a successful lawyer in Malawi to being a newly-married
mum and ‘born-again Christian’ housewife in Swansea. She has also
been recently diagnosed with HIV. David Terry hears
her story
Twenty-nine-year-old Mehrunissa (Mehre) Thomas comes from Malawi. She was visiting London on holiday over a year ago and met her husband-to-be in the middle of Oxford Street. Shortly after, she found out she was HIV positive when she became pregnant with her son Michael.
"When I was diagnosed I felt totally traumatised. I thought my world had ended and was in the deepest despair." This was Mehre's first reaction to her HIV diagnosis a year ago.
"From Malawi's middle class to the East End... and
HIV
Mehre's fears were quite understandable. The Aids epidemic in Malawi is very real.
"People are dying in Malawi. I have lost university and school friends and friends
of friends," she says. Malawi is a small land-locked country in south-east Africa
with a population of around ten and a half million.
According to UNAIDS/WHO figures, Malawi had an estimated 800,000 adults and children living with HIV at the end of 1999. Of these, over half are women. The number of children under 15 estimated to have lost their mother or both parents to Aids and who were alive at the end of 1999 was 275,539.
 Photo: Ken Dickinson |
"There was a lot of ignorance on my part," Mehre admits. "I thought Aids hit the rich in Malawi because they slept around. The poor caught the disease because of tribal practices such as sharing the same razor between boys in circumcision rituals," and naïvely she says, "Although the middle class had started to get it and I was middle class, I never believed it would happen to me."
Mehre's new London relationship was going well and when she and her boyfriend found out she was pregnant, they looked forward to getting married. It was what they both wanted. She had the standard antenatal screening for such conditions as sickle cell, hepatitis and HIV. "We'll contact you," the hospital said. A month went by. Mehre felt more concern for "the poor doctor who had to tell me."
More seriously for the relationship, Mehre and her husband-to-be split up before the wedding. He had decided to get himself checked out and was told he had HIV too. "There was a lot of blame." But there was no point in debating who might have given HIV to the other, if at all. "It was not an issue, who gave it to whom." The important thing now was the baby. "We drifted back together," she explains. The wedding went ahead in a registry office in Bow.
Then baby Michael arrived. He had to have three HIV tests to be absolutely certain of his status, the last at 18 months. He's HIV negative and Mehre says, "I know Michael will be OK." As far as her husband is concerned, "I saw the complete relief on his face" when Michael tested negative. But despite the problems, they want to have more children.
Mehre had to take AZT and Combivir for most of her pregnancy to reduce the chances of mother-to-baby transmission. She also had to have Michael delivered by caesarean section for the same reason. Michael himself had to take AZT twice daily for 6 weeks. Babies are given a syrup "which tastes foul" says Mehre. Now that the baby has arrived, Mehre doesn't have to take medication for HIV herself for the time being.
Life has changed drastically for this young professional African woman.
Malawi is a developing country and Mehre says she found herself "immune and hardened to the sheer poverty" there. She was a lawyer and had been in practice for six years. "I never thought I'd be looking after a baby." She considers the changes to have been a "humbling experience" - "Miss Princess to Miss Housewife."
She left Malawi and came to Stepney "which was straight out of EastEnders." She lived in a flat on an estate in Bow and was "petrified of being attacked." But once she got to know people she found their "values more real" and realised she herself had changed.
In Mehre's words, she's had a 'fairly bizarre reaction' to her HIV from her family. She won't be given an indefinite right to stay in Britain until she's been married a year and so she can't risk leaving the country to visit Malawi. She's told her parents and her sister but they refuse to acknowledge what she has told them. She's on the receiving end of a 'nice girls don't' attitude that seems to account for the mental block. Mehre thinks of this as some sort of defence mechanism on their part. Aids still equals death in the minds of many in Malawi.
"I'm not worried about the future," says Mehre. "I'm finding the housewife bit quite exhausting and my brain's at a standstill." She wants to try something new.
 A new view: From Lake Malawi's beach to Swansea's Mumbles (right) where Mehre has recently started a new life with her husband and baby boy |
Motherhood, the Welsh Mumbles... and God
Mehre and her husband have had a new start with a move to Swansea. The chance
of a house-exchange came up and they now have a home high above the city with
breathtaking views over Swansea Bay and the Mumbles beyond. She'd like to try
something creative, maybe writing poetry or painting, maybe working with children.
She's
found the move to Wales all it's promised to be. The people are friendly and there's
plenty of space and fresh air. One place she has found great support is with her
faith. And she is looking for a local evangelical church to join.
At the time of her HIV diagnosis, Mehre also 'found God'.
Mehre hasn't exactly been a good little girl, even though she became a 'born-again' Christian three years ago. "I was still drinking, smoking and dabbling in drugs till I became pregnant" she says. But, she recently confided in two friends about being HIV positive and they told her, "we'll pray for you." In Mehre's words, "peace descended on me" and this was the 'turning point' when she knew everything was going to be OK. Pregnant and HIV positive she still was. But "trauma and distress" was replaced with the "greatest peace," and her faith was restored.
Mehre is an intelligent, vivacious woman. She says she read The Bible and "cried like never before in my life." She felt complete relief. She doesn't know why. In this she is alone, for her husband finds this response is anathema.
It's difficult to sum up Mehre. There's the loving mother with a lively mind. And then there's 'the born-again Christian' with a blinding faith. She is clearly developing her relationship with God.
Mehre found religion when she was at her lowest and the comfort that her faith and prayer has given her is undeniable. She says that 'God's message is love'. But it was hard at times for this gay male interviewer to hear that her brand of faith denies an acceptance of the homosexual act. As far as two of the high-risk HIV infection groups are concerned - homosexuals and prostitutes - Mehre believes that "God loves the people", but "God does not love the act."
Fighting HIV/Aids the world over involves meetings between people of very different minds and overcoming many prejudices. As for the views of Mehre's family back in Malawi, they may explain some of what has to be overcome in fighting the ravages of HIV/Aids in Malawi and other similar countries.
