‘LET’S
EMBRACE!’In the last issue of our magazine, I hinted strongly that I was going to write about African men who have sex with men, and true to my word I am doing just that now.
Homosexuality, ‘gayism’ or sex between the same sex is often understood to be a sin and totally unacceptable by most African cultures. Some of the reasons advanced are that it demeans men to a dog status and also that because it is a secret practice it is a form of witchcraft.
For me, I must admit that I also grew up in total ignorance and fear about homosexuality. It is only recently that I have come to terms with the issue. When I was growing up as a boy in Zambia I quickly learned that ‘sodomy’ was punishable by a stiff jail term; it was always associated with prisons.
Well, I have come to discover that it actually is not demeaning or witchcraft.
Recently, I was invited to Club Afreaka in north London. What I witnessed calmed all my fears. It was a lovely warm night. Men from all corners of Africa kept pouring in until the club closed at 2am.
Contrary to the fears and suspicions I have harboured all my life, what I saw with my own naked eyes as they say was love, compassion and a great feeling of freedom and security. This made me happy but at the same time concerned; why should we Africans continue to have this stigma and prejudice towards this group of people?
Here was a situation where African men came because they felt loved and cared for and just felt in a safe environment as people. If they did that publicly at an African community event, there would have been a lot of pinching and whispering among people.
We
UK Africans must now accept that we live in a totally different world from
home, and that times both here and abroad have changed drastically. We need
to move on. We have to accept and embrace our friends’ way of life. Sexual
preferences just come automatically when you are growing up, and it is difficult
to resist your liking.
In my case, no matter how good-looking and kind a man can be, I am never moved. But let a woman talk to me and by mistake touch me, my whole body moves and I feel like I have climbed Kilimanjaro mountain. That is acceptable to African culture.
In my own case, however, my last such experience was of a woman 15 years my senior. But a preference for older women is not acceptable in my culture and my family just found it hard to understand. I found nothing wrong with it and was very comfortable with the situation. It took my old pals a lot of time and convincing to accept.
I know that some of you, as you read this column, are holding your chin saying, “Ah, Simon has been converted.” No, these are just facts of life. Time has come to give our brothers and sisters support. They need this support just as we always demand it. They are lovely people with a heart just like us. The culture of name-calling should cease, ie “lez, lez” (slang for lesbian), and also pinching whenever an individual emerges with a person with the same sex, holding hands. It is time to move on in harmony and give others the peace we so much want ourselves.
Do I support homosexuality? Yes I do and I intend meeting seven members of parliament in my country, Zambia, as I travel soon. The idea of meeting them is to raise the issue of gay prejudice with the hope of government’s stance softening on the matter. My preliminary meetings with the members of parliament have been positive and it is hoped that they will soon move to change the law on the matter.
Lastly, my assurance to all the ladies: I am still your very own ‘Umkonto We Sizwe’ meaning ‘Spear of the Nation.’ I love you, bye...
