Lifestyle

Life Coach

Getting your life back on track

Living Well life coaches could help you gain confidence and make the changes you desire

If you’re working in the City and unsure about your commitment to your hedge fund career, then one session with a City life coach can set you back £150. Ouch (well, maybe not if you’re in hedge funds). See a Living Well life coach on the other hand, and you’ll contribute just £10 for each of the 12 one-to-one sessions. “This makes coaching much more accessible,” says Living Well project manager James Miller who introduced the service in 2004.

Although the sessions are offered to people living with HIV, the focus is very much on the individual and often the work has nothing to do with their condition. The client decides what they want to address, whether it’s something very specific, such as developing their career, or a much bigger topic - like completely getting their life back on track. Life coaching is a practical and results-driven approach where the focus is on moving your life forward by discovering what changes you want to make and gaining the confidence to take action.

Clients often come to coaching feeling that they “can’t see the wood for the trees”, and part of the coach’s role is to act as a filter, explains Living Well coach Darren Brady. “I want the client to become as clear as possible about their situation. If they are being vague I ask them questions, which help them to become specific. If they are getting lost in the emotion of the situation I bring them back to what actually happened. In short I am keeping them on their own pathway and clearing away the obstacles that may get in the way. We establish a sharp focus where before was a blurred picture.”

Turning 40 this year prompted Rebecca Mbewe to start life coaching. “I felt I’d lost my direction in life. Now, I’m halfway through the coaching programme, and every week I feel more certain and focused. I make notes to remind myself what my targets are, which is really helpful. I wanted to be more financially secure, and I’ve been able to change jobs.”

For Matt Edge, 32, it was about identifying what actually made him happy. “I was very wrapped up in the London scene, although I was beginning to find that increasingly empty, and I knew I needed to start leading a healthier lifestyle. After the very first coaching session I came away feeling energised. My coach went through an exercise to pinpoint what had made me happy when I was 10, 16, 21. I’d almost forgotten the things that I used to enjoy. It made me realise that happiness is not just based on going out with a lot of people on the scene. Now I’ve rediscovered how to socialise in different ways. I’ll organise lunch with friends, enjoy it and feel good in myself for having done it. I have the confidence to make choices and stick to them, rather than being swept along by the crowd. I actually have energy on a week night now. That’s still surprises me!”

Was there a benefit from seeing a Living Well coach as opposed to any life coach you might find in the phonebook? “Yes,” says Matt. “Although my sessions were tailored to me as an individual, it was useful that my coach understood the issues associated with living with HIV.”

Diego Sanabria, 35, agrees. ‘I was diagnosed 15 years ago, when the future didn’t seem optimistic, so I lived for the moment, didn’t make plans. It really helped being able to talk to a coach who’d had experience of other people who were long- term diagnosed.”

Diego began coaching sessions after his 4 and a half year relationship ended. “I’d followed my partner to the Netherlands, where, despite endless job applications, I ended up being unemployed. I became his shadow - it was his job, his friends, his flat, his family. In the end, I was living through him. When we split up, I returned to London, unsure what I wanted to do with my life. I’d lost my sense of identity and had very low self esteem. In the coaching sessions, for the first time in a long time, I was focusing on my strengths, looking at what I had acheived. We took things step by step so that changes seemed doable rather than daunting.”

This, according to Darren Brady, is the critical bit - where intentions turn into actions. “In the coaching session we assemble the ingredients - it is the client who will go away and make the cake. I am confident in saying that when clients have implemented the plan they have created they experience incredible results.”

Diego’s “cake” was an architecture degree, working towards a PHD.
For others, it has been publishing a book, moving abroad or simply spending more quality time with family friends. PN

WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY, WANT

Here’s what you can discover through life coaching, says coach Kerr Wilson
• What really motivates you to make changes and achieve goal.
• Your true values.
• How to overcome fear, resistance and procrastination.
• What matters most to you and how to get more of that in your life.
• When it’s right to challenge and push yourself, and when it’s better to rest, reflect and review.
• How your habits can make life easy, or get in the way of getting what you want.