Lifestyle

Life Coach

Living Well -
One woman’s journey.

Pam Mahaka, 27, lives in west London. After following Living Well’s Positive Self-Management Programme, she is now a facilitator. This is her story.

At the beginning of 2005, life couldn’t have been better. I was 24, and had I big plans. After growing up in Zimbabwe, I’d moved to England five years earlier to stay with relatives, and now I was applying to the Royal Navy, to train as a nurse.

Then, in May that year, after a routine referral to my local GUM clinic, I was diagnosed HIV Positive. I’d only ever had one sexual partner, in a relationship that had lasted nine months. I was in shock, I didn’t
even cry.

My CD4 count was very low, so they wanted to get me on medication straight away. I couldn’t understand it. I felt fit and well - I’d been swimming and running in preparation for my Navy fitness tests. Never better.

The doctor asked how I thought I had contracted HIV. I had no idea; I’d had malaria, had a messy dental extraction. What else? Thinking about it drove me crazy.

When it was suggested that I attend a drop-in centre for people with HIV, I was reluctant. I still knew little about the condition and my head was full of images of emaciated, dying people. I couldn’t have been more surprised when I arrived to find people, laughing, smoking and listening to music.

It was there that I heard about Living Well’s Positive Self-Management Programme (PSMP). Each of the seven sessions, which, on average, 8-14 people attend, is structured and comprehensive, dealing with everything from taking your medication, to depression management, intimacy and disclosure.

Having known relatively little about managing the condition before the sessions, I learnt the importance of adhering to medication, eating well, and specific relaxation techniques such as distraction and guided imagery. On a more practical level we learnt how to communicate effectively with health care professionals; simple, but useful things like writing down how you feel in the period building up to your appointment. For me, the main benefit was being in a room full of people with the same problems, picking up on what they were saying. The youngest person there was 19; the oldest was a woman in her sixties. I felt that I wasn’t alone.

The PSMP gave me courage. Finally, six months after my diagnosis, I was able to tell my aunt (my closest relative in England) about my condition. By confiding in her, I immediately had additional support. In addition, I had a year of counselling through Living Well, which helped me work through the feelings I hadn’t been able to address.
Life hasn’t gone to plan (I’m not in the Navy!) but I’m happy, and I’m stronger now. I’ve just completed a college course in travel and tourism, and I’ve trained as a PSMP facilitator, which has increased my confidence immeasurably. Delivering the course is always inspiring; in the sessions I see not just the newly diagnosed, but people who’ve been living with HIV since the 1980s, who have had many more obstacles than I have. It’s so fulfilling to see people moving on in their lives. One guy, who was in the very first session I delivered, is now a life coach. Hearing that made me smile. Life is good again. PN

Interview by Lindsay Calder

Living Well is an NHS-funded programme for people living with HIV. As well as the PSMP, services include life coaching, counselling, training and a weekly Newly Diagnosed Group. For more information, see www.livingwelluk.com or call 020 8746 2274.